I am the very model of a modern theoretical
Physicist with interests in problems cosmological.
I know acceleration and of candles standardisable
Of BAO and SNE, and distances phenomenal;
I'm very well acquainted too with matters mathematical
I know field mechanics both of quantum kind and classical.
About the measure problem I am teeming with a lot of views:
as a Bayesian depends upon the prior that I choose.

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
But confront me with the data and I'll always make a lot of fuss
In short in matters practical and also observational
I am the very model of a thinker theoretical.

I know our thermal history from BBN to CMB
I write computer programs, I've got good taste in MCMC.
I run complex simulations of formations quite galactical,
In physics of dark matter I have assumptions always practical.
I can tell a theory sensible from one with singularities
And know not to judge my colleagues by the value of h-indices.
Then I can follow perturbation growth equations, Peebles style,
And when reading Lyth and Liddle I will always wear a smile.

Then I can write equations that are in a gauge invaiant form
And tell you evr'y detail of the vectors that are null and norm
In short in matters practical and also observational
I am the very model of a thinker theoretical.

In fact, when I know what is meant by disformal and axion,
When I can tell at sight a ghost free theory from a spooky one,
When such affairs as baryons and halos I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is mean by AGN feedback,
When I have learnt what progress has been made in the holography,
When I know more of brane worlds than a novice in their PhD,
In short when I've a smattering of elementary particles
You'll say that no one's ever written better journal articles. 

Though from these high held theories we may one day change our tune,
When presented with the knowledge gained from H-one surveys on the moon,
But still in matters practical and also observational,
I am the very model of a thinker theoretical.